Sky's the Limit
Sky’s the Limit
If you’re not totally obsessed with Bitches in the Sky, you will be!
By John Russell
How can I best describe Bitches in the Sky? It’s like All My Children meets Adult Swim meets Family Circus meets demented gays and drag queens and club freaks. Or something.
Now in its fourth chapter, the telenovela in photographic comic strip form is the brainchild of NYC nightlife’s own Linda Simpson. Each Monday, Wednesday and Friday a new installment appears on BitchesintheSky.com featuring some of the city’s most recognizable nightlife celebrities. Ladyfag appears as the devious Lucinda Black, a high-powered magazine mogul. Go-go stud Matthew Camp is Nico Cassidy, a sexy but naïve up-and-coming pop star. Performance artist Erin Markey is amateur PI Viola St. Clair. And they’re all basically brilliant, hamming it up for the camera in the melodramatic pictorials that make up each comic strip.
So far, Bitches in the Sky has all the soap opera essentials: sex, incest, intrigue, mystery, long lost siblings, adultery…the works! Our story revolves around a particular set of Manhattan socialites. Ladyfag’s Lucinda Black seems hell bent on ruining the sweet and hopelessly romantic Pixie Woolworth (Sylvia London), who also happens to be Lucinda’s twin brother Antonio’s (James Lopez) former lover. Then of course there’s the batty Gertrude McCoy, Antonio’s new ladylove, who may or may not be his and Lucinda’s long-lost sister.
Still with me? K!
Lucinda hires private eye Viola St. Clair (Markey) to dig up the dirt on Gertrude, not realizing that Viola is Gertrude’s former lover. Meanwhile, Antonio’s social climbing wife, Avon de Luna (Shaquanda Coca Mulatta) is feeling lesbianic stirrings for Gertrude as well, while her one and only PR client, aspiring pop star Nico Cassidy (Camp) seems to be falling for Pixie. Throw in the catty rivalry between Lucinda and Avon—who thinks her husband’s sister has always craved his cock—and you’ve got some hardcore melodrama.
Shockingly, through all 54 episodes, the plot pretty much hangs together. And even if it didn’t Bitches in the Sky would still be hilarious, thanks mostly to the inspired over-acting of the cast. And while soap operas may be the easiest thing in the world to parody, Simpson’s delicious sense of absurdity—just look at Gertrude and Viola—and the novel choice of a comic strip format keep Bitches in the Sky from seeming like something we’ve already seen a million times.
Simply put, this shit is brilliant. Perfect for mid-workday procrastination between visits to Gawker and Manhunt. Catch up on the story so far so you can say you totally already knew about Bitches in the Sky when Logo inevitably options this shit for a TV series!
